I like to travel into my imagination and discover new things..
While I was traveling, I discover LOVE ~~ ♥♥♥
And this thing happens to reality.......It turns to reality....
I remember when I had my first boyfriend.I was so inlove with him.
Before we knew each other,I secretly admired him . ^^
I didn't expect that he became my boyfriend....My first love ^_^ He is 5 years older than me.
I was 17 then.young,pretty and innocent...hahaha....:p
Kidding aside,He was my first boyfriend.^^
My love for him was so warm.I even write him letter.. rather letters a day?hahaha.. tinimbakan ko cya ng mga sulat.He really likes to receive letters sabi nya,so I sent him letters almost everyday..haha..adik!!
Just to tell him a lot of stories happen in my day to day life.Frustrated writer kasi ako eh, so parang cya ang nabalingan ko ng sama ng loob.hehehe.jowk..
Sometimes, I'm the one calling him just to check if he's fine.( o,diba,di lang ako writer, parang stalker pa dating ko hahaha).Pero di ako obsessive sa kanya ha..Hindi talaga.. promise..hehehe..
That's how I really loved him.I enjoyed his company.Everytime when we were together I can see my self smiling.)opps,di ako baliw ha?, inlove lang ako nung time na yun :))
When I'm with him my days were so special ^^
Pero sa kabila ng aking kaligayahan.May mga tao na pala akong nasasaktan :(
I experienced arguments with my sister because of him. My family didn't like our relationship.
They want us to remain friends and not lovers.I don't know why they don't like him.. But it's so difficult to me to let him go.I accept all his difficulties because I love him.
Until one day, my fear of letting him go happened. We broke up.I really miss when we're together .But then later on, I realized that we're not meant for each other.He's the one who didn't fight our love.Then I discovered that he didn't loved me anymore. :(
He lied at me.I thought he really loved me but it's all a lie.My days were so dark but I said to myself that "There's GOD" I hope and pray that my feelings for him will be gone soon. That's life.We learned to experience things happened in our lives.We must face the reality. But despite of what happened it made me become a strong and better person and even wiser when in comes in making decisions.So I thank God He introduced me to him. :)
DAYS,MONTHS,YEARS passed by, I was afraid to love again.I lost my trust to any guys..
I focused myself into my studies and I tried to find myself again.
After all what happened , I looked for love... I did had found my 2nd-10 months,my 3rd-3 months , 4th boyfriend -8 months... ýet still even if I love them, I can say that I'm not totally happy with them.. I still feel empty.. I told myself when will be my right guy come? Sometimes I feel guilty because I hurt their feelings. Madali akong magsawa.... Sometimes I'm so inlove with them, after how many months or even days wala na agad akong nararamdaman sa kanila.. :( Sad but this is really what I felt for them..So, I ended our relationships coz I don't want to be unfair to them and to myself.I know that they really love me..so much ~~ ....But then, I decided being single.
Until one day, I discovered skype...I met some Korean guys there and they became my friends.I can compare Korean guys to Filipino guys.Honestly, at first I don't like Koreans..Naremember ko kasi noon na there are lots of rumors about Koreans..kasi gnito daw,ganun.blah blah blah...Until, one of my Korean friends visited me here in my place after his military duty.He also attended my graduation.I was so happy that time.. I told myself that I really want to marry a Korean someday. ^^ But hindi naging kami nun.Friends lang talaga ang tingin namin sa isa't isa..I mean.. Siya lang..hahaha.. Oo inaamin ko na gusto ko cya pero hindi kami click sa isa't isa.Alam nyo ba yung Chemistry? Yup.Wala kaming Chemistry..as in.wala talaga.Physics lang.bwahaha.. . But still I'm so happy I met him before he went to Australia that time...Masasabi ko naman na mabuting tao cya at very romantic.. Yun ang nagustuhan ko sa mga Koreano.. Very Romantic..I thought cya na pro before he went back to Korea he told me that he's not the right guy for me.. ^^ Ouch! Bat nya kaya nasabi yun? I never told him about what I feel about him....Magaling yata akong magtago nga aking nararamdaman hehehe ^^ but I accept the fact na di talaga pwedeng maging kami..But Until now,it remains a mystery for me why he said that.. Does he like me? Or not? Sometimes he even calls me kahit nung nasa Australia na cya... haist.. Pero di na ako aasa pa.. Nakamove on na ako sa kanya.. ^^ tapos..
Another Korean guy na naman na namet ko. When we were having a vacation in Bacolod.One of my Korean chatmates told me that he will go to Bacolod also to study English there. Wow~~ Great Chance , dba?Happy na naman ako kasi makikita ko na naman ang pinakauna kong nakachat na Korean.. yes, he is my first Korean oppa nachatmate^_^
I remembered the day when we first metin person..SM Bacolod pa kami nagkita nun.Harap ng Watson bandang alas singko ng hapon hehehe..Parang magkakilala na talaga kami.Di kami ilang sa isa't isa..^^ I'm so happy when I am with him........ He is also romantic kagaya nung unang nameet ko na Koreano.They really served you when you eat and they will carry your bag..so sweet. ^^One of the most unforgettable moments when we're together was the time went to Mambukal.. I did enjoy my vacation in Bacolod because of him.. Pero kagaya ng dati, friends din kami.. Haizt.. Pero hindi nya ako sinabihan ng Im not the right guy. hehehe.. Nagpaparamdam lang cya..Koreans tend to hide what they really feel.. I have friends who knows Korean.She told me na ganyan talaga ugali nila.You don't have a clue kung kayo na ba or what? MU lang ba or couple na kayo?.. But you can feel that they really care for you and sometimes they feel jealous also... So, I told myself na I will no longer entertain Koreans anymore. (talaga?) hmm.tingnan natin..
Sakit lang sa puso bigay nila sa akin. At sabi ko din sa sarili ko yaw ko ng umasa sa kanila.. but even if they are like that I really miss them. And that's the saddest part..I can't even hate them even if they hurt me.. But we remain friends of course and they still don't know that I once like them ^^ Umiba ang takbo ng buhay ko after I met Koreans.. Malaki ang naging impact nila sa pagkatao ko.I don't know.Because of what happened I still want to marry a Korean. Iba talaga sila.
Sigh.. oppps, Not yet done.. Kala nyo cya ng huling Koreano na nameet ko.hahahaha.. Di pa..May isa pa.. I met this guy few years ago in skype. He is in Australia that time.I thought he is an Australian but I found out na Korean din pala cya..Naku po! Korean na naman.. Destiny ko bang mga Koreano? hahaha.That time, ayoko na talaga ng mga Koreano kasi baka masaktan na naman ako.. :( During those times, he is planning to go to Manila and study there. So chat kami minsan,, Until he went to Phil.But we didn't met that time coz he stayed in Manila.. far from my place... Sometimes he texted me.. Until such time we lost communication for about 2 years. Nung minsan nagonline ako sa skype, he chatted me.After 2 long years of no communication, we met in Skype again. He asked me if I still remember him and I said of course....That time he is working in Manila for almost 2 years na din pala.Ang bilis ng panahon I remember I'm still a student when I first met him in skype... He told me he has a girlfriend na.Filipina gf.So, I said to him I was so happy about that.But he said that his girlfriend no longer contacted him for how many months. Her girlfriend's father died so she went home to her province.So, I explained to him na baka wala lang signal dun.kasi nasa kabukiran talaga ang lugar na yun.. ..What I remember the girl lives somewhere in North Luzon.
After our discussion about his gf.He asked me something about my place.He told me that he really wanted to come to my place and met me..I was so excited to see him because he is also my long time chatmate. I'm so curious what he looks like....After 2 weeks of continuous chatting during that time, he decided to meet me on weekends.. After his work..Friday night was his flight.. I picked him up at the airport together with my sis.. We ate dinner in the restaurant and he stayed in our house.. He only stayed 2 nights and 2 days.Sunday night he returned to Manila because he has to work on Monday.. He can't be absent in his work. I enjoy being with him. hahaha..enjoy nga naman ksama mga Koreano..Kain dito,gimik doon, beach and presents..hehe....
He is really good in English,wow..nosebleed parts.. hahaha.. He has a good accent.. ^^ Of course, because he is an English Instructor in Korea. ^^ ayeeeeeiiii..
Everything went well.. He bought me some presents before he came back to Manila.. I suddenly felt something.Pakiramdam ko gusto ko na cya.halaka .hahahhaa.. .Pro mali eh, kasi he has a gf..... I remembered one time I asked him..Oppa, when is the most memorable day in your life? He answered .You know what ...lots of bad things happened in my life,Cha..But I can say this is the most memorable day in my life..charrrrr~~ but I can feel the sincerity naman..Kilig din daw ako ng konti.Konti lng.. hahaha...pro di ako nagpahalata ha?patay tayo dyan.heheehe.
Una ko palang cyang nakita I can see in his eyes na may dala-dala cyang burden sa kalooban nya.. I can feel that when we were together that's the time I can see him smiling. I was so happy when I saw him smiling.Sometimes I teased him just to see his smile :).. At ito na naman ang pinakahate ko..Sunday night..Time for him to say goodbye.Uuwi na cya sa Manila.T.T. We fetched him in the airport. .. He told me that he was so happy that he met me and so did I... Monday morning he texted me.. He told me that his gf finally arrived from her province.. He told her gf that he went to my place to meet me.. Her gf was so jealous that time. So, I decided not to ruin their relationship.But he is the one texting me and chatting me.. He told me that he likes me more than I like him..hmm. aba! isip ko bat naman nya nsabi yun na like ko cya? hahaaha.. aigoooo. ... kala nya talaga gusto ko cya.. pro ung totoo nagustuhan ko naman din cya...hehehe.Denial stage lang ako nung time na yun... I didn't reply in his text messages.He even told me that he will come back when everything is OK.. Ang totoo gusto na nyang hiwalayan gf nya kaso I still don't know why he is still with her if he is always telling me that he likes me.Ang dami daw nilang naging problema but he is still confused he didn't know what to do and how to do.. He even told me that he didn't know what love really is.He will go and find it.And if he find it he will come back to me.naks..ano to..Korean Drama? hahaaha
So I made a decision not to contact him anymore.I told him that don't bother my life and don't even text me or chat me anymore.Please delete me in your contacts.I told him..
It really hurts me so much because I know that we like each other but there's a big wall that hinders the two of us.It made me think that we are really not meant to each other. I am not so lucky when in terms of relationship, I conclude to myself. So, I decided to give up.I focus on myself now because I think life is so unfair to me.. I searched and looked for love for a long time but I still failed.Sometimes I don't know what is love.How it feels like....
Until one day, God answered my prayers.I met a person that truly touches my heart ♥♥♥
I thought that it was just a fling but Im wrong.. I fell in love to him UNEXPECTEDLY ^^
This occurs to me that God sent him to me.. ^^
I thought that I discover love already in my first boyfriend but it was just a puppy love ^^
I didn't expect that LOVE rather TRUE LOVE comes in my way mysteriously^^
That's why Im so happy to be with God and I thank HIM that God gave him to me ^^
I found my true happiness that was lost long time ago ^^
Now that we're getting married i hope that our love will be always and forever ~~ ^^
I love you My Yeoboya ~~ ^^
I have lots of realizations in my life after things happened..
I realized that we don't need to find love kusa na lang itong lalapit sa atin sa takdang panahon sabi pa ni Big brother.hehe..
I also realized that sometimes we need to be hurt in order to value what love really is.
Love is sacrifice..It's not always happy ending sometimes we need to learn to love our self first and if we are ready to love again we give the best in everything.
Learning to let go,move on and respect to ourselves are some of my realizations in life.
I hope this can be an inspiration to all of us reading my posts.
Whether you are broken hearted, inlove or still searching for love. Let us not forget to say Thank you to our God because everything happens for a reason^^
guys, i'll be posting my blog about my man soon ~~
Love .love.love ~~